...with a husband and 5 sons, I am truly outnumbered....stories and thoughts on life from a mom in a houseful of little men!

Saturday, October 11, 2008

From My Heart

This one's very tender on my heart. So tender, in fact, I've let it sit for about six weeks before deciding it was important to share it. God designs families, and He does it perfectly. He knows exactly who we need and who needs us. Boy, girl, conceived or adopted....He brings us all together in perfection. With each of our babies, we have inwardly acknowledged and embraced this, and eagerly anticipated exactly "who" He was adding! With each of our babies, we have also developed dreams and possibilities of "who" the new little person was and what they would be like. Baby number four has been no different. So when the much-anticipated ultrasound day arrived (we never have waited until the birth day to "find out" boy or girl or to choose names....we've always had the possible names ironed-out and we've lovingly called our little ones by name from the ultrasound date on...) we grabbed hold of the dream that really was, and simultaneously let go of the dream of the other possibility. At the pinnacle of our joy we shared with anyone who asked (and many who didn't ask) about the ultrasound--"Yes, praise the Lord our baby is healthy and well! And....he is a boy and his name is _________!" Well, I was not prepared at all for some of the reactions this time. We were met with some hurtful and down-right rude reactions...such as--deep, heavy sighs....hands covering faces....mutterings of "I'm so sorry--will you try again?" (What do you mean--"try again"? For what?...because there are no disappointments here.) These reactions hurt. These reactions made me cry. How could anyone be sad over such joyous news? I am the mother of four, perfectly special, hand-knit gifts from the Lord. They happen to be all boys. Actually, they don't "happen to be"...they are each and every one a unique gift from God. No accidents here. He created them for us and created them perfectly--knowing exactly how He wanted to build this family He's so graciously given us. Feeling very sad and teary those first couple of days post-ultrasound because of these reactions, in addition to pouring my heart out to God I also did something I never do--e-mailed a complete stranger. Rachel Balducci is a newspaper columnist and mother of five sons. I love her stories and insights...many are all so familiar to me. I needed so badly to hear from someone who may have walked a similar experience. This precious woman e-mailed back to me words of grace and love. Yes, she had been in my shoes. Yes, it hurt. Truly she was God's mouth-piece to me during a rough time. She also included part of my e-mail in her blog, Testosterhome. The discussion on yours truly is posted on September 1, 2008. There are several comments on that post--some funny, some poignant, others...well...annoying. It is a good discussion. One of the comments stands out to me the most:
Blogger Rebecca said...
I try SO HARD to remember that "congratulations" is the only appropriate response to news of a new baby -- boy or girl.
Well said. Let's remember to rejoice over God's masterpieces.

7 comments:

bacon lady said...

Well said, Jessica. God has given you quite a quiver full... can't wait to meet him. Your boys are going to have so much fun! It was so fun to see my older 3 with a newborn. They were all babies and toddlers themselves and don't remember when each other was born! It is so fun to see them in that role. You should seriously publish that.... just food for thought. http://www.mops.org/page.php?pageid=553&srctype=linklist&src=656

Long comment here.. but the next deadline for a MomSense issue is Oct. 15! I'm gonna go for it... not sure on what yet! You should too.

mama said...

Wow, JJ!!! So many things running thru my head right now! I'm so sorry you've gotten the nasty comments.

My big pet peeve was that my belly ceased to be "private property," all of a sudden it was OK for folks (strangers even!) to come over and touch me. ICK!

Mommy said...

Graciously stated JJ.

And I missed the whole gender announcement! Congratulations! :)

kjell said...

Oh Jess, I know how this has hurt you. And I am so sorry. My sister has heard this same kind of thing with baby girls #2,3,4,and 5. you are right, these little ones are such blessings, boys, girls, whether we have 1,3,5 or 12. You have given me food for thought for a post on my blog.

Sandie (writing from my son's account)

vince+shannon+mattie+ireland +afton said...

Here I am, looking back to when you called me that night, wondering...did I say anything that hurt you??! I sincerely hope not, friend! My grandma (who had five boys and a stepson) is one of my great heroes...she's sweet as can be and shorter than I am but could probably still kick my dad's tail if she wanted to. :)

Pam said...

Beautiful post. Thanks for being so transparent here. Your boys are a GIFT...nothing less! I agree with Amanda...think you should publish this!

Pam said...

Beautiful post. Thanks for being so transparent here. Your boys are a GIFT...nothing less! I agree with Amanda...think you should publish this!