This one's very tender on my heart. So tender, in fact, I've let it sit for about six weeks before deciding it was important to share it. God designs families, and He does it perfectly. He knows exactly who we need and who needs us. Boy, girl, conceived or adopted....He brings us all together in perfection. With each of our babies, we have inwardly acknowledged and embraced this, and eagerly anticipated exactly "who" He was adding! With each of our babies, we have also developed dreams and possibilities of "who" the new little person was and what they would be like. Baby number four has been no different. So when the much-anticipated ultrasound day arrived (we never have waited until the birth day to "find out" boy or girl or to choose names....we've always had the possible names ironed-out and we've lovingly called our little ones by name from the ultrasound date on...) we grabbed hold of the dream that really was, and simultaneously let go of the dream of the other possibility. At the pinnacle of our joy we shared with anyone who asked (and many who didn't ask) about the ultrasound--"Yes, praise the Lord our baby is healthy and well! And....he is a boy and his name is _________!" Well, I was not prepared at all for some of the reactions this time. We were met with some hurtful and down-right rude reactions...such as--deep, heavy sighs....hands covering faces....mutterings of "I'm so sorry--will you try again?" (What do you mean--"try again"? For what?...because there are no disappointments here.) These reactions hurt. These reactions made me cry. How could anyone be sad over such joyous news? I am the mother of four, perfectly special, hand-knit gifts from the Lord. They happen to be all boys. Actually, they don't "happen to be"...they are each and every one a unique gift from God. No accidents here. He created them for us and created them perfectly--knowing exactly how He wanted to build this family He's so graciously given us. Feeling very sad and teary those first couple of days post-ultrasound because of these reactions, in addition to pouring my heart out to God I also did something I never do--e-mailed a complete stranger. Rachel Balducci is a newspaper columnist and mother of five sons. I love her stories and insights...many are all so familiar to me. I needed so badly to hear from someone who may have walked a similar experience. This precious woman e-mailed back to me words of grace and love. Yes, she had been in my shoes. Yes, it hurt. Truly she was God's mouth-piece to me during a rough time. She also included part of my e-mail in her blog, Testosterhome. The discussion on yours truly is posted on September 1, 2008. There are several comments on that post--some funny, some poignant, others...well...annoying. It is a good discussion. One of the comments stands out to me the most:
Well said. Let's remember to rejoice over God's masterpieces.