...with a husband and 5 sons, I am truly outnumbered....stories and thoughts on life from a mom in a houseful of little men!

Friday, October 31, 2014

What I've Learned: day 31

This post marks the end of this series.  In reflection upon all the hours spent thinking and writing and photographing and uploading, and uploading and uploading, what have I learned?  For one thing, I've learned this is a pretty awesome place to live.

There are ample opportunities for adventure and travel.  There is beauty, so much beauty, in the form of rolling hills and mountain landscapes, flowing rivers and wildflowers, giant, ancient trees and meandering country roads and of land being worked by the plow.  It is land teeming with life in all forms.  It is rich in history, and so much is accessible in terms of bringing that history to life.  We have access to rich culture in cities, while peaceably living country life, and can easily trek to the seashores.

We are living this, and we're so thankful, yet truth be told, I still desperately miss Alaska.  It is home to me, to my family, in all it's grandeur and quirkiness and freezingness.  Is that even a word?

I chose the subject for this 31 day blogging challenge, based on the homesickness I am experiencing.  Driving home one day from a swim at Maryville College, I marveled at the fact it was mid-September, and I was driving home while windows down and sunshine streaming in dried my hair.  For me, that was incredible, and I began to think about all the other things we could experience because we are here.  As thankfulness began to well up in my heart, the homesickness lessened.  It's difficult to feel wistful or sad when you concentrate on just giving thanks for the now.  It's been good for me, as I truly have grown to better appreciate the now.  Still I find my mind wandering to the "what next?" and I do not know the answer to that.  You know what?  It's ok that I don't know the answer to that.  I know the One who does know the answer to that.  He knows what brought us here.  He knows what He's accomplishing in us here.  In short, He knows our path, and somehow that needs to be, and in fact is, enough.

Just knowing that He knows is enough.

This month of writing has been good for me, as it's caused me to dwell upon this every day: there's so much to love here.  As much richness as we enjoy, however, nothing replaces the fact that the things dearest to us, our family, our deep friendships, those things are thousands and thousands of miles away.  Familiarity.  Friendships which have weathered over a decade.  The babies that were born and have been raised up alongside our own babies.  All so far away.  It takes years and years to put down those sort of roots, and we've felt the necessity of leaving it all behind, for now anyway.  How can I reconcile these truths?

Sometimes what you love is not what is good for you in a certain season.  Sometimes what we need is to be uncomfortable.  Sometimes, God calls us out of the familiarity of Ur, so to speak, and we are called to venture out of our comfort zones.

"Now the LORD said to Abram, “Go from your country and your kindred and your father’s house to the land that I will show you." Genesis 12:1

To ignore the call would be torment to our hearts.  There would always be the wondering.  "What if?"

So we chose to answer  by stepping out.  We won't need to wonder "What if?" and there is much peace in that.  We'll continue to enjoy all that is here, right now.  We'll continue to grow, work on healing that needs to take place, make new friendships, maintain old friendships, minister to those He puts in our path, and chart this new course.  And all the while, we'll do our best to keep hearts focused on the Captain, and keep ears open for His call for what's next.  Who knows?  Maybe I'll be writing about that next October.

1 comment:

sacra vim said...

Sigh...yes. Love you.

P.S. If you use it, it's a word. Freezingness works for me.